Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Fitting In

Well, what ho! everyone. I am still in Richmond, Virginia awaiting Donny's arrival for our trip to sunny Florida. His first mistake was letting Dr. Walker write a check for his salary. Honestly, one must demand cash, especially from fledgling psychiatrists.

While here I have decided to eschew orange juice as I did notice my complexion had taken on a rather tangy tone. I have also made the most marvelous discovery here in the capital of the Confederacy: corsets! My figure has never looked better and I have not been to hot yoga in several days. I look absolutely stunning. Of course, breathing in and out is a little encumbered, but one must suffer to be beautiful. Although suffering by itself does not guarantee beauty, just ask Dr. Walker.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


On my way to sunny Florida, I stopped off in Richmond, Virginia, to see a production entitled PULP at the Richmond Triangle Players. It seemed apropos since I am traveling to the land of Orange Juice. Unfortunately, I could not spot any citrus of any kind on stage. There was a well stocked bar, to be sure, but not one screwdriver was served.
I was most impressed by the actresses playing lesbians and men and lesbian men. As I play a gender-bending character myself 40 hours a week and overtime during holidays, I can attest to the level of difficulty. I also got the brilliant idea that Manny could wear designer high heels. Why not? It will still be drag, but more in the 40's style apparently.
I politely asked for my money back at the close of the show, explaining that the reason I attended the performance in the first place was so that I could be well versed in all aspects of Florida culture. I was denied a refund, encouraged to participate in a raffle for gift baskets that touted Virginia peanuts and contained no sunshine fruit whatsoever, and eventually left in a huff. Pulp, indeed.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Star Island

What ho, everybody! The puppet has just told me that King James is not coming to New York. Instead a new production entitled "The Three Kings" will be premiering in Miami in the fall. What ho! I have the puppet working on getting me an audition for the lead female role.

Donny has told me that he is due a vacation from Dr. Walker and he was planning on going to South Beach to check out the scenery. He said we can stay at -- STAR ISLAND. I am humbled that an entire island has been set aside for actual stars of my caliber. Vacations can be so trifling when one is forced to mingle with the commoners.

Everything is falling into place. I have begun my seaweed treatments in preparation for the hot and humid island air.

Now, I must come up with a way to earn bus fare.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Heat wave

It is so hot outside today. The theatre is dark. The manager called and the air conditioning is not on. I know the people will be very upset to miss my performance. I shall use my time studying my lines for King James. What ho everybody.

Monday, July 5, 2010

King James

I am most excited. First, I have learned how to text message. Indeed, it is not all that hard, although truthfully sometimes my fingers slip a little due to the actual grease I am using as Manny. But one must suffer for his art. What ho! another text message to me. Oh, it's from Donny. Poor poor Donny. Oh, Dear. "I hate Aunt Frieda." What does he mean? I must reply. "Try Turmeric as a natural anti inflammatory". Good advice, if not on point.

Speaking of my point or the reason for my excitement. KING JAMES may be coming to new york. It is all the buzz at the theatre. Several of the waitresses have told me that this LeBron James, whoever he is, may become a Knick, whatever that is. The trifles of "the deal" are not as important as the question of whether there is a part for me in King James. I shall call mother immediately.