What ho everyone!
I am pleased to report that the Florida visit has been a smashing success! Sometimes one's talent just shines through no matter what obstacles have been placed in one's way. Although I did not get a callback for the Three Kings, my video "Wacko Scarlett has Balls" is a sensational smash hit. According to Entertainment Tonight, it is the most popular viral video, beating out the rescue of the alligator in the Chicago river. (Seriously, was there even a contest there?).
Donnie and I must, however, leave the sunshine state. Apparently, Donnie's friend who graciously let us stay in his abode for free unexpectedly returned early. Instead of our usual morning spent doing yoga and purging, Donnie and I took a boot camp class as we climbed out the second story window, dove into the pool and ran towards the gates. Quite a workout given my high heels.
So, what ho! we are on our way back to Broadway. And Mother, while I appreciate your offer to knit my new headshot, I must turn you down. I don't think merrino wool is a star maker.
Monique, I am losing patience with you. I thought I made it clear that your trust fund was dependent on your continued steady employment as a chef . . . er, actress in New York City. This detour to Florida was unsanctioned. You are embarrassing me. Please return my calls, or there will be consequences, I assure you.
ReplyDeleteMother, really. Being pelted with balls IS work. Or so I've heard.
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